Keeping the Big Picture in Mind

Sep 16, 2024

As parents, we want the best for our children. It hurts when they encounter setbacks or challenges. When they experience frustration or failure, we want to fix things so they don’t suffer. 


Lessons Learned


However, physical and even emotional discomfort is a significant part of how we grow and learn. In fact, mistakes and failures have a number of benefits including an increase in self-confidence, creative thinking, problem-solving, and patience. 


When children learn that they can overcome obstacles, they build self-confidence and are more willing to challenge themselves in new activities. In addition, when children can experiment and have room for error, they can explore and create new approaches, which leads to flexibility and expansive thinking. 


Success requires time and continuous effort. When children aren’t afraid of failure, they understand that progressing isn’t always a straight line. Rather than being afraid and giving up when faced with difficulties, children are more willing to take a circuitous route, try different directions, or experiment with diverse options. This process also helps children develop logical thinking skills and the ability to solve problems confidently.


Home-School Partnership


So that our children can reap these benefits, it helps if we stay in communication about challenges that may arise. Whether social, emotional, academic, or intellectual, it’s inevitable that our children will experience some level of difficulty at some point in their school years. Our hope is that we can work as partners to identify any challenges or areas of discomfort, and also provide the structure, freedom, patience, and confidence to allow kids the opportunity to struggle. 


In Montessori, we are well-trained to observe children, balancing both a deep awareness of developmental milestones and the knowledge that individual children have their own pace and trajectory as they develop as young humans. We recognize that some children may need additional support and we also want to make sure we aren’t rushing in too soon to rescue them, which can lead to a decrease in self-confidence and resilience. 


A partnership between home and school means that we ask you to trust the process while also staying in dialogue with us about your hopes and fears for your child. Conversely, we commit to communicating what we observe about your child’s progress and areas for growth. 


Over the many years of schooling and parenting, we’ve found that an investment in longer-term learning and growth necessitates tolerance for some shorter-term disappointment. 


Communication Road Map


Good communication is the heart of positive partnerships! To that end, we offer some tips for cultivating and maintaining this long-term relationship in support of your child(ren). First and foremost, we rely upon timely communication and yet also want to respect everyone’s busy lives. If something comes up, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us to share what is on your mind. We want to better understand what your child is experiencing or any concerns you have. 


We also ask that you consider a big-picture perspective. If your child complains about something bad happening, take a deep breath and acknowledge that they might need to let off some steam or just feel some big emotions. Listen without judgment and reflect back on what you hear. Once they are done, you can ask if they want some help solving the problem or communicating with someone at school. 


It helps to think about how to set the stage for your child to be their own self-advocate. If they want help, you can offer to brainstorm solutions, draft an email together, or even role-play how to handle the situation differently. Often, though, our children just need to let out their upset or frustration so they can move on with their day. They need us, as parents, to be a safe place to vent.


When or if you do contact the school, please let us know if your child is aware that you are sharing your concerns or observations so we can approach the situation with the utmost respect and care. 


It’s also important to remember that as adults, we are constantly modeling for our children. Approaching even challenging circumstances with thoughtfulness, care, and goodwill shows our children how they can tackle tough situations with grace. 


Long-Term Goals


When we talk about what we want for our children, we often discover some common themes. We want our children to be adaptable, kind, and hard-working. We want them to be creative and confident in their own abilities. We want them to be self-reliant and independent, while also collaborating with others and learning from those with different perspectives. We want them to live peaceful lives, celebrate present moments, and have a sense of purpose. 


While we don’t want to see our children struggle, one of the most important things we can offer them is the chance to confront and work through challenges. We commit to being your partner in this process. Please schedule a visit to the school, observe the classrooms, and connect with us about how we can work together!



Subscribe to our Blog

You might also like

Grammar the Montessori (Fun) Way!
23 Sep, 2024
Montessori classrooms make grammar fun with games and activities that teach parts of speech, syntax, and sentence structure, fostering a love for language.
8 Tips to Make School or Daycare Drop Off Easier – From a Teacher!
20 Sep, 2024
https://themontessoriroom.com/blogs/montessori-tips/8-tips-to-make-school-or-daycare-drop-off-easier-from-a-teacher With a new school year approaching, we thought it would be helpful to share some school drop-off tips. Drop off, especially at first, can be a hard transition for everyone – the children, parents, and teachers! Katie, an RECE and Montessori Toddler teacher, has 10+ years of experience starting a new school year and has welcomed many new children into her classroom. Here are her 8 tips to make drop off easier: 1. Create a Predictable Drop Off Routine It's helpful to create a drop off routine with your child. This appeals to their need for order and creates predictability. For example, you could tell them in advance," I'm going to give you a BIG bear hug and 5 kisses at the door and you're going to go inside with your teacher. I'll be back to pick you up when school is finished." Make it special and just for drop off. Once you say goodbye, walk away and let the teachers take over. If they are experienced teachers, they've handled these types of new transitions countless times and know what to do. 2. Your Energy is Important Your energy is important because your child will pick up on how you're feeling. Ideally, you're feeling confident, calm, and optimistic. Even if you're feeling a little sad, it's best to keep your energy calm until your child is in the classroom. It's wonderful to share your emotions with your child, but expressing them right at the classroom door will likely make the day harder for your child. 3. Talk About It Young children often understand more than we give them credit for. On the way to drop off, you can talk to your child about school and what to expect. Follow their lead and avoid pushing the topic but you can talk about the different fun parts about school, i.e. there are so many fun toys to play with, nice children to play with, a friendly teacher, new books and songs, etc. 4. Give Them Something to Look Forward To After School Young children don't really have a concept of time, so part of your drop off routine may be giving them something to look forward to, like "We can go to the park after school" or" I'll bring your bike when I pick you up and we can go for a bike ride." These types of comments are also helpful for the teacher to hear because they can create dialogue around it and remind the child throughout the day “Daddy said you're going to the park after school, what do you like to do at the park?” 5. Don't Sneak Away  This is difficult for the child because they will eventually realize you're no longer there and it's very upsetting for them. ALWAYS say goodbye. 6. Don't Visit Try to avoid walking by the school throughout the day. Seeing you may confuse or upset them when they realize that you're not there to pick them up. 7. Validate Feelings If your child is sad or having difficult feelings at drop off, it can help to validate those feelings – "I can see that you're sad. I love you so much and I'll see you after school.” 8. Avoid Bribery Try to avoid bribery unless you're prepared to “reward” them every day. It can become an expectation and add another hurdle to drop off once you've removed the reward. If Your Child is Still Struggling With Drop Off if you or your child is still struggling with drop off, Katie made a few more notes here: https://themontessoriroom/com/montessori-tips/what-to-do-if-your-child-is-struggling-with-school-or-daycare-drop-off While a new school or daycare can be a difficult adjustment for some children, rest assured they will eventually settle in. It can help to talk to the teachers about how you're feeling because they might have more tips based on your child.
Keeping the Big Picture in Mind
16 Sep, 2024
Embrace setbacks as growth opportunities for children, fostering self-confidence, creativity, and resilience. Partner with the school for supportive communication and long-term goals.
More Posts
Share by: